Sensual and Sexual, with Passion, Pleasure, and Longing
 

INTRO:
Erich’s dream life differs greatly from the expected life of a young man growing up on his family’s farm in rural Kansas.  To the unknowing, Erich’s dream life is no different than any other man who calls the northernmost part of Kansas home.  But unlike many young men, Erich has no desire to marry, to marry a woman, that is.  Erich is gay, and finding a man with whom he can share his cozy country home and his cherished farm life is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.  Erich is not willing to give up on his dream, however.  Every weekend, Erich drives the hour or so to the nearest city, Lincoln, Nebraska, where he frequents the gay bars and where he meets some very nice young men in the bustling city that is home to “Big Red”, the University of Nebraska.  On one such weekend, Erich’s favorite bartender informs Erich that a man has been looking for him, a man who knows much more about Erich than just his first name.

EXCERPT:
“Hi there, Erich.  Haven’t seen you in awhile.”  Erich liked the bartender, Joe, at the bar that he frequented most weekends.  “It’s harvest time, Joe.  You know how it is.”  Joe poured Erich a light beer, and stopped to talk with him for awhile.  He leaned over the bar, and lowered his voice.  “There’s a man who has been asking about you, Erich,” he said quietly.  “Really?  Is he here now?”  “No, not yet anyway.  Seems nice enough, but there’s something about him that I can’t quite figure out.  He knows your last name, too, which strikes me as odd.”  Erich tried to think of who this man could possibly be.  “I don’t give out my last name, Joe, at least not until I really know the guy.  You think I should be concerned?”  “Can’t say, Erich.  I’ll let you know if he comes in here tonight.”  Erich turned around to find a nice young man named Rick eager to know him.

“Excuse me for a minute,” Joe said, taking Erich aside.  “I will have him back in a few minutes, Rick.”  Rick blushed, and Joe led Erich around the corner.  “He’s here, Erich.”  “Who?  Oh, you mean the guy.  Where?”  Joe very discreetly pointed out the man who had been asking about Erich, but Erich didn’t recognize him.  “You sure?  It’s pretty dark in here.  Look again.”  Erich glanced the man’s way several times as discreetly as he could, and tried to think of where he may have met him.  “I guess maybe he looks a little bit familiar.  Let me think.”  Joe walked back to the bar, and Erich stayed where he was, trying desperately to remember if or when he had met the man who had been asking about him. 

“Joe, should I go talk to my mystery man, or what?  I honestly can’t place him.”  “Up to you, Erich.  Just be careful.”  Erich walked to the far corner of the bar where the man was sitting alone.  His head was down, and it was dark in the corner.  “How’s it going?  I’m Erich.”  The man motioned for Erich to join him.  Then the man looked up at Erich.  “What the fuck?” Erich said, not one to cuss much.  “Keep it down, Erich.  Don’t make a scene.”  “What are you doing here, and how in the hell did you know that I came here?”  “Hey, stop the attack, okay, Erich?  I’m not out to get you.”  “Like hell.”  “Look, Erich, you may think that I am one big son-of-a-bitch, but I’m not.  Believe me.  You have no idea what I am feeling right now.”  The hate was clearly evident in Erich’s eyes.

******

Bill stopped the car, and Erich woke up immediately.  He sat up and looked around.  “What are you doing here?”  “I drove you home, Erich.  You had too much to drink, remember?”  “You drove me all the way from Lincoln?  What a prince!”  Erich opened the car door.  “You know, I don’t have to let you step one foot inside my house.  I could make you sleep out here in the car.”  Bill laughed.  “I was hoping that you might take pity on your old Uncle Bill.”  “Why should I take pity on you?  And, it’s not like you’re that much older than I am anyway.  You just married young and had those bratty kids.  That’s probably why you feel like an old man.” 

After Bill had helped Erich walk to his house, he helped him to the sofa.  “You know, Erich, I seem to remember a bratty kid who couldn’t get enough of me, always tagging along, getting into my stuff.”  “Well, then, I guess you replaced me with those bratty kids of yours.  They are horrible, bratty kids, Bill, and you are a horrible father.”  Now Erich had gone too far.  Bill grabbed his face.  “You punk.  Those are my kids you’re talking about.”  Bill let go of Erich’s face with such force that Erich fell over.  Erich grabbed onto the side of the sofa to keep from hitting the floor.  “The truth hurts, doesn’t it, Bill?  Guess they won’t be staying with you much after the divorce.  We can’t have impressionable young children hanging out with a fag.” 

That comment earned Erich a slap across his face.  “Next time it will be my fist, so just shut the fuck up.”  “Okay, okay, I get it, Mr. Sensitivo.”  “Come on, Erich, you need to get to bed.  It’s late.”  “Not so fast, my good man.  First, you need to tell me why you have been stalking me.”  “I have not been stalking you, Erich.  I wanted to talk to you, away from here.”  “Well, looks like you are too late for that.  Guess you’ll just have to spill your guts right here on the farm.”  Bill began pacing back and forth.  He took his jacket off and tossed it on a chair.  “And why are you staying with me, anyway?  Your brother is just five kilometers from here.  It’s that way.  I’m sure he’s home.”  Erich gestured emphatically to emphasize the direction to Bill’s brother’s house.  Bill sat down.  “I don’t need another lecture on leaving my kids, and I certainly don’t need another lecture about going against the Catholic faith, which is what I would get from my brother.”  “Dad doesn’t know about your sexual adventures?”  “Very funny, Erich.  It’s not an adventure.  It’s who I am.”  “Why don’t you tell him, then, Bill?  Why don’t you tell your big brother that his baby brother is a fag?  Are you ashamed of who you are, Billy Boy?” 

******

Erich flopped down on his bed fully clothed.  Bill took Erich’s shoes off and then his socks.  Erich watched as his Uncle Bill undid his belt and slid the zipper down its track.  Erich closed his eyes.  The feel of his uncle’s hands on his naked flesh as he unbuttoned his shirt felt good to Erich.  It felt better than Erich thought it should feel.  Bill looked at Erich’s face.  It looked so serene to Bill.  Erich’s face didn’t hold the worry that Bill saw in his own reflection. 

Bill slowly pulled Erich’s pants off and opened Erich’s shirt.  Erich continued to watch his Uncle Bill as he undressed him.  It was dark in the room, but there was no mistaking the desire that was evident from the outline of Erich’s erection beneath a thin layer of white cloth.  Bill removed his nephew’s shirt and touched the warm chest of the man with whom he had always felt a special bond.  There was no teasing tonight.  Erich was no longer a child.  Erich was now a man, a gay man, and the man that Bill had cherished and loved for many years.